Normal? Normal-ish?

Sexual Fetishism: sexual attraction to objects, body parts, or situations not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature.

Wikipedia, my hero.

“…not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature.” Alrighty, so let’s see … being sexually attracted to breasts is conventional, and being sexually attracted to frogs is not conventional.* Well, that was easy. Hrm, but wait – what about something like feet? There are a gabillion people  in the world who have a foot fetish – they find feet to be super sexy, and enjoy all sorts of sexplay centered entirely around those funny flippers at the ends of our legs.  A question then, darlings: how many people have to enjoy a sex act before it is considered conventional? Personally, I would say that, when compared to all of the other kinky stuff that people do, a foot fetish is as conventional as a bowl of (hot and steamy) chicken noodle soup.  And there we have the point of this entry – although you may think you have an unmentionably bizarre sexual desire, it’s probably actually much closer to “normal” than it is to “wacked out and gross”. (As you wade through the Savage Love archives, you will begin to understand that more fully.) Now, everyone is going to define “wacked out and gross” differently, but I do think that there are averages to this sort of thing, and probably a lovely bell-shaped curve of preferences across people. Someone must be documenting that somewhere, yes? Scientists! Research me a study!

Of course, there is another angle here, and it’s one that flies gently and playfully in the face of my original argument: it sure is fun to be a kinkster. (I said that in my naughty voice. Could you hear it?) Who am I to say that foot-fetishers want to be considered normal, their fetish un-fetishized? Maybe they like feeling kinky. Maybe it makes it easy for them to find potential partners with the same interest. I don’t rightly know, to be honest. Further, given that I don’t have a foot fetish myself, I don’t want to put words in anyone’s mouth. But, since I am GGG (reminder: Good, Giving, Game), if someone wanted to put my toes in their mouth, I would be all over it like my aunt’s dog on my leg at the reunion.

A quick GGG scenario for you:

“Honey, I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a long time … I have a foot fetish”.
“Wow, that’s totally hot, I painted my toenails red just yesterday, wanna see?”

What, too easy? Hrm, I suppose you’re right. Here’s a more realistic GGG scenario:

“Honey, I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a long time … I have a foot fetish”.
“Um, wow… okay, well, uh… that’s weir…ahem, ah, a surprise. <awkward silence> Well, um, tell me about what I.. I … uh … I can, um, do with my feet to help … well, ah… turn you on…?”

And then voila! You engage in a meaningful, extremely awkward conversation with your partner about what turns them on. It’s important that both parties be completely straightforward in what you are saying, but because this is a delicate issue we’ve got here, be cautious and gentle with your word choices.  Honest+Gentle+Patient = Totally GGG!

Here’s a true story for you to wrap things up and highlight this issue. No names and only gender-neutral pronouns to protect identity and keep things interesting.

A friend of mine back in the day was telling me about their latest sexual encounter with their partner. My friend said “I looked down and saw my partner’s hands right there in front of me, and I just wanted to kiss them.” Now, I knew this friend had what could be called a hand fetish. Nothing was more attractive to them than a fine set of fingers and palms. So, I said, “well, did you?” and my friend said “oh, no… that would be weird”.

Ladies and gentlemen, please tell me that you all joined me in mentally replying “Oh, honey! That’s not weird at all!” I wanted to ask my friend, “have you seen any porn? Hands and fingers get kissed, licked, sucked, stuffed in orifices, you name it. If kissing hands while in the throes of passion isn’t sexy, then I’m going to join a convent!” Instead, I composed myself and said “that’s not weird, that’s totally normal! Hands are hella sexy!” I encouraged my friend to go for it next time, and to look forward to being pleasantly surprised at their partner’s response.

Now it’s your turn, my lovely readers! Go tell your lady (or gent!) that you think their feet/hands/clavicles/knees are hella sexy. See what happens. (I bet it’ll be hot.) Then email me and tell me all the juicy details. No, really! I want all of you lovers to email me with your stories (especially if they’re dirty) and questions (especially if they’re weird!) at




**Don’t think for one second that just because something is extremely unconventional means it doesn’t exist! Go ahead and Google “frog porn”, just for kicks. Then Google “Rule 34”. If you already know about Rule 34, maybe you’re kinkier than you admit, and maybe you and I are going to be friends. If you already know about frog porn, then you are one kinky bastard.

Short URL:

Filed Under: featuredIn Bed

About the Author:

RSSComments (0)

Trackback URL

Comments are closed.