The Ten Commandments

So it is the end of the year. I was thinking about talking about the past year and all that cliche crap but I felt I would offer something else and maybe useful to help you start the new year with a bang… heh. I will save the introspection and self improvement of the soul for next week. This week I have tried to enjoy my time at home and I am looking forward to spending NYE with friends as well as Miss January and Miss September. This weekend though, Eat! Drink! Be Merry! December 21st, we might die, if you believe those crazy Mayans(frankly I think they just ran out of stone). To give you a little perspective I thought I would give you a few of my commandments for a commanding performance in the sack… or otherwise. Always consult your doctor before starting any kind of rigorous activity… So like the bearded leader before me ( who also worked with tablets….) I bring you my Ten Commandments.


1) Women like sex as much as men. They may not like it right now, or with you… but trust me, if you are doing it right they are thinking about it as much as you.

2)   Take your time, if she is alone in a room with you, she is most likely there for the same reason. Don’t be so quick to move on to the next objective thinking that if you get a certain level you can’t back down. Think of a woman’s sexuality like  first person shooter, you have to explore all the hidden areas to be better armed for the next level.

3)   Don’t be afraid to show a little urgency in what you are doing. I know it appears contradictory to what I just wrote but it will make sense. You HAVE to do what you are doing right now, it is all you have ever wanted to do! Kiss her like you have been thinking about it all day because, really, we both know you were.

4)   Have some passion for what you are doing with her or to her, it will show, she will feel it and respond in kind and that is always fun.

5)   Be there in the moment. Don’t be on the job thinking about your job. She can feel that intensity or disinterest and frankly you might miss out on some great moment, look or opportunity to blow her mind.

6)   Music makes the world go ’round, and it makes lovin that much better. Take the lead from her but don’t be afraid to express yourself, I mean Sarah McLachlan can hardly keep me awake let alone… up. If the lady wants 80’s hair bands though, you better get some Warrant on the playlist.

7)   Enjoy the pleasure you give her. Let’s face it guys, a warm gust of wind and a few moments of thinking can do it for us. So where is the challenge in us getting off? Take some pride in your ability to bring her the thunder, show her you are having fun pleasing her.

8)   Don’t be so serious. If you can’t laugh while you are naked and just wearing socks…. when can you laugh?

9)  That said, socks ALWAYS come off before pants! I don’t care how cold, or how much of a hurry you are in (you shouldn’t be in a hurry) socks off first.

10) Lewis and Clark: Don’t be afraid to explore and discover new territory with your bed friend. As much as I hate to give John Mayer credit for this song, her body is a wonderland. Explore Narnia.


These 10 rules should help you help her enjoy herself and in turn enjoy yourself. Getting to that point though, is all up to you for now.


Short URL:

Filed Under: In BedUncategorized


About the Author: Tom is a director of IT for a financial start-up. He spends his days designing infrastructure and supporting high net worth advisers and their clients. Traveling much for work affords him a great perspective on life and what is important. The high travel has ensured that he goes on a lot of first and second dates.

RSSComments (2)

Leave a Reply | Trackback URL

  1. Guest says:

    I was once told: “there is nothing more unattractive than a man dressed only in dressy socks and underwear”, and I agree.  That said, sometimes a lady wearing nothing but a ridiculous fuzzy pair of socks and a smile can be the funniest/sexiest thing in the world…

  2. Fallinrose says:

    Your words couldn’t be more true! We need a BIT more than a warm gust to get us uhhhh in the mood and just think, the extra time getting us there means LESS time trying to GET US THERE if you catch my drift! AND YES, SOCKS ARE THE FIRST THING TO COME OFF!!! Nothing is more unattractive than a naked man with his socks on =)